Diary of an Otaku #2:

LagannGurren LagannDai GurrenArk Gurren LagannDaiginga Gurren Lagann! (3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
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Popularity: 8% [?]

Moeman’s Journal. March 10, 2009.

This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.

Today, I made the world a better place. There was a fool, probably a low-intellect amoral type who doesn’t like anime, that I caught sight of during my holy trips to Akiba. It was on the train and he had the audacity to sully my ears with disgusting filth that he calls music, playing loudly from the cellphone grasped in his hand. The song was not by a seiyuu nor was it by any band that had its music featured as opening or ending songs of anime. In other words, it was an evil song that must be purged.

I postponed my Akiba pilgrimage for the week and instead, followed silently, stealthily like Solid Snake behind him. I am nimble like Hei from Darker than Black, and invisible like the ninjas from Ninja Scroll. Of course, I haven’t had the time to watch these since I’m too busy rewatching Nanoha for the 65th time. But I have heard that these shows were good. I also haven’t played Metal Gear Solid, since my quests to satisfy my virtual ladies is taxing my vitality. But I know I’m like Solid Snake.

The fool spotted me. He must have super powers! How could he ever have broken through my stealth? Does he have ki-sensing skills? I was hiding my really large frame behind a metal pole, he could not have seen me! A thought struck, "Wait, it might be a trap! To lure the great Moeman out and destroy him so that the evil-doers of society could wreak havoc without his heroic protection. I must not allow myself to fall here." With that, I turned and held down R2 and L2, attempting to flee. I was highly successful. That was a close shave. But he was scared too, of facing hand to hand combat with Moeman. He will not dare to perform his evil deeds anymore, I am the deterrent.

I went home, into my office. The office of Justice, as I call it, where I medicate the ills of society with the greatest of elixirs, awesome forum posts with bad words. Bad words are one of my super powers, I have a really good arsenal of bad words. Words like f u c (ok I can’t tell you, it’s a trade secret). No time to chat, I have an urgent mission. Who set the trap? How did he know my weekly schedule?

I scoured the forums for any source of information on this villain. And there it was, my arch enemy, posting vile remarks on Nanoha, and Fate. Now, you can insult me all you want, I would just kill you with my forum posts. But if you insult my wives Nanoha and Fate, and Mizuki Nana, death would not be sufficient atonement for your sins. I would personally flame you on every forum and message board, obtain your personal details and address, and tell the world of your worst secrets. I am a great omni-potent being, because I have the Internet. The Internet loves me, Moeman.

It appears to be dinner time. I stop my important work, googling for "man on the subway who listens to evil songs and tried to hurt moeman" and wait for the food to be served into my office. It is late. Where is my nourishment? Looks like I have to punish Mother for her tardiness. Why can’t she ever understand that superheroes need their nourishment to perform their heroic tasks?

I wait impatiently while looking at archives of Nanoha naked. Ah, this is life. The greatest feeling in the world, seeing Nanoha naked. I shan’t show you her naked, only I get to see her.


My wife/daughter.

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14 Responses to “Diary of an Otaku #2:”  

  1. 1 SnooSnoo 173 comments

    “The fool spotted me. He must have super powers! How could he ever have broken through my stealth? Does he have ki-sensing skills?”

    Somewhere around there I was expecting a N.H.K. reference. Since your delusions are quite like Satou’s.
    I give it a 8/10.

  2. 2 LianYL 781 comments

    These are not delusions. tjhan is really like that.

  3. 3 Kesenaitsumi 20 comments

    ……. Want more otaku diary.

  4. 4 veekie 2 comments

    Wife/Daughter?

  5. 5 animekritik 25 comments

    the furry thing on nanoha’s shoulder is kinda cute. might if i have that?

  6. 6 Loba 86 comments

    Has tjhan gained weight then oO

  7. 7 schneider 17 comments

    @ animekritik

    Beware the ferret, for it is a dangerous critter.

  8. 8 nutcase23 35 comments

    @animekrtik: It’s a trap btw =P

  9. 9 Owen S 144 comments

    I hope I’m not the first one here to recognise the Watchmen reference. Losers.

  10. 10 OnyxSyaoran 19 comments

    ROFL good one, and now if u google that u will find this post! XD

  11. 11 tj_han 1440 comments

    Yes, amazingly, it’s the ONLY WEBSITE ON THE INTERNET WITH THAT PHRASE! I can’t remember what this is called, google bashing?

  12. 12 Anonymous 21 comments

    What sort of face does Moeman have?

    @Owen S

    How could anyone miss the Watchmen reference? While the rest would recognize the second line as one the very first line reminds others of a certain masked psycho who also has a journal.

    I wonder what Moeman would do if he was put in jail.

  13. 13 usagijen 34 comments

    “This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.” Totally LOL’ed at this line. Watchmen Reference FTW! XD

  14. 14 dKiWi 73 comments

    This, and the first entry, REALLY made me laugh while I was waiting for my freaking wayang lab partner to add more crap into his lab report when I’ve already submitted mine. Yes, I accessed this blog using a Science PC over at S14 a few days ago ^^

Do not use any < and > for your own sake. It will end the comment there and then. Also, there is an automatic IQ filter which weeds out comments made by those who accidentally got transported from the stone age.

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