EPIC Figure Review: “Onii-chan Let’s Go to the Zoo!” and “Ok Amy!”

I felt someone tugging my sleeve. "Onii-chan, let’s go to the zoo today!", a petite little girl pleaded.

"Ok Amy! IKUZE!"

So Amy and I headed down to the Singapore Zoo, apparently one of the top three zoos in the world. It boasts the single largest collection of primates and a rather ample number of free-ranging animals and an open concept, with no bars or cages. Amy dragged me by the arm, "Hayaku, oniichan!"

Ah, I remember the good old days a couple of weeks ago, when Amy was still a young figurine. 4200 yen from Alter, she was the least desired member of her Burst Angel family. Unlike her sisters Jo and Meg (Sei is shit), Amy did not have cool weaponry and was made to feel like filler material in the set. But now, she’s a real part of the family.

Amy’s genki smile and cute pose

Amy: Ikimashou!
tj_han: Hai hai.

Amy: Oniichan, what is that!?
tj_han: That, Amy, is a big bird.

Amy: Wow it is so big. Is it as big as yours, Oniichan?
tj_han: Not really.

Amy: Turtles! Kamehameha! Wheee!
tj_han: These are tortoises, Amy. These are land-dwelling. I think they are Malayan Box Turtles but I could be wrong.
Amy: But why are they not eating pizza and shouting Cowabunga?
tj_han: That’s because they haven’t got their mutagen.

Amy: Oh, it’s a monkey! Mecha mecha kawaii!
tj_han: This is a Cotton-eared Marmoset. It’s so small and cute, just like you!

Amy: It’s a lizard!
tj_han: Silly imouto, this is an Iguana. A green Iguana.  Did you know Iguanas can break off their tails just like common house geckos?
Amy: That must hurt.
tj_han: Almost as much as a torn hymen. But at least they can regrow it.

Amy: Ah it’s Godzilla!
tj_han: Yeah.

Amy: I know this one! It’s the Orang Utan. They look like Dan Akroyd, the guy from Ghost Busters!
tj_han: Wow. They sure do.

tj_han: OMG fucking primates are drooling at my imouto! I must protect my moe moe imouto. Zettai mamoru! You are hyakunen hayai to be burning with moe, you unevolutionalised punks!

Top right.

Amy: Wheee Penguin! I’ve always wanted to see them ever since I watched the first episode of Rumic Theater!
tj_han: You better not stare at my sister, penguins.
Penguins: Ok.

Amy has taken a liking to these adorable birds

Penguins: We are not looking!

Amy: Hey there are chimpanzees there!
tj_han: They look like they are having fun.
Amy: Take a pic of me with them, oniichan!

Amy at the Chimpanzee habitat

Amy: Gyaaaa, yamete! Tasukete, oniichan, a giant monkey is attacking me!
Ringtailed Lemurs: We are very sorry. We beg for your forgiveness, Amy-sama.

Ringtailed lemur assaulting Amy

Ringtailed lemur apologising on all fours profusely

Newly-inaugurated Amy-sama Defence Force (ADF): Keeping a lookout for Danger

Amy: Look at that graceful blue bird Oniichan!
tj_han: OOh I see a loli!

Which object do you notice first? Your answer defines who you are.

Amy: Butterflies! They are so pretty.
tj_han: Not as pretty as you Amy!

Amy poses for the camera!

Amy: Why did the Church put their holy symbol on this bat, oniichan?
tj_han: I don’t know. Maybe it’s to ward off vampires. You know how nowadays there are so many of them.

It’s a holy bat!

Amy observing the Flying Fox at the Biodome

Amy poses to get attention from the other loli

Amy: Oniichan, look at me!
tj_han: But there is a loli. And I think she’s Korean.

Korean loli.

tj_han: Amy, those lilypads are much bigger than you.
Amy: Sugoi! It looks like it can hold more than 100 of me. Let’s take a picture!

About 1.5 metres in diameter.

tj_han: Amy, your dress sense is cute. But isn’t it rather obscene? I mean, your skirt is.. a belt.
Amy: But this is what oniichan likes, isn’t it?
tj_han: Yeah. That’s right.

You can’t really tell if her skirt is the belt, or her top is a dress.

A large zipper balances out the pettanko?

Amy: Long long! It’s a giraffe.
tj_han: Did you know that giraffes are called Kirin in Japanese? Kirin is also Qilin, the mythical Chinese animal.
Amy: They are really amazing right, it’s the first time I’ve seen such a long appendage, Oniichan.
tj_han: Not true. Shall I refresh your memory later at home?

Keiki? Kourin? Enki? Taiki?

tj_han: Look at those stripes! They are for camouflage, since the Zebra’s outline will be broken up in the Savannah and predators cannot see them as well.
Amy: Huh? Ze Bra? Stripes? Amy not old enough to wear bra yet! But you mean if I wear striped bra, the dirty chikans cannot see me? Can I wear shimapantsu instead?
tj_han: …. yeah wear it.

Shuffle fanboys, take this!

Amy posing with the Zebras

Amy: Oniichan, these animals are so horny!
tj_han: Keep a safe distance Amy.

Amy admiring the horny

tj_han: Ok we’ve seen quit a bit today. Shall we call it a day?
Amy: Sure, oniichan, thanks for bringing me to such a fun place! As a Go-hou-bi, let me model for you.

Shiny pink ABS base, with a two-screwed foot for security.

Amy is such a digital girl.

In front, the belt is the skirt. At the back, her blouse is her skirt. Skilful design.

Amy’s inseparable pal, the teddy-computer. It looks like organs spilling out though, which is rather cool.

So finally, we have completed the Burst Angel Alter set! This has been a long journey of sweat and toil but damn worth it surely! GONZO ROCKS! WOOO!

Bonus Story
Once upon a time, there were two otter friends, Naruto and Sasuke. They were inseparable, and their favourite pastime was admiring the sunset in each other’s company. AH YAOI.

One fateful day, Sasuke said, "I have to get more power. There is a man I must kill. I have to go to Orochimaru."
Naruto was stunned. "But what about our team? Are you betraying Konoha?"

Sasuke stared at the horizon and coldly replied, "Don’t stop me or I’ll have to kill you."
Naruto flew into a rage, screaming, "But I thought we were friends! Even if I have to beat you, I’m going to take you back to the village!"

Sasuke smirked, "Hmph, what can a loser like you do? Try me."
The End.

Meanwhile, Sakura looks on and weeps to herself.

35 Responses to “EPIC Figure Review: “Onii-chan Let’s Go to the Zoo!” and “Ok Amy!””

  • you are a loser bitch!!!!11113377


  • For the record, the page sat on the girl first, then when I pressed the button again, the phrase came up on what I noticed first. So, I noticed her first due to the page sitting there first, and then I noticed the bird! :P What are we supposed to notice on the next photo of that girl? the thing in her hands? ^_^

    Anyway, I have Amy too, so I guess she’s in more places than one, and those pantsu are lowleg type (I’m oniichan too, so I know these things :P ) It’s the crown of the set in my opinion (have yet to try and find one of Jo so I can own her too), but they’re all great together! ^___^

  • The hell yeah! Those turtles need multigen before they try and take over the world!
    Nice, cute japanese references, a true Otaku, Amy is cool and so is the horney, my apllaudes, tj_han!

  • LOL at you letting those monkeys try to outrage the modesty of Amy.

  • I am surprised you allowed those Ringtailed Lemurs so near your figurine.

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