Figure Review: Brace Yourself… She’s an Ugly Horseface

I had this picture set for quite a while now but never did get around to posting it for obvious reasons – this girl takes the word "ugly" to new levels of barfdom.

Thankfully, I didn’t buy her but loaned it on a whim. Inside the box, Sumomomomomomo’s Nakajima Sanae looked average. But outside it, she can match even Sader in a battle for deformity. She’s part of a set of 3 1/8 PVC figures released by BEAT and each of these costs 4800 yen. The other two, Sumomo and Iroha, are passable.

The ironic thing is, Sanae is out of stock at HLJ while the other two remain collecting dust on the shelves. I suspect people are buying her to add some contrast to their other figures. Or maybe it’s just a cult hit, like how SADER is completely sold out.

For those not in the know, Sanae is from the manga/anime series Sumomomomomomo, which involves a bunch of martial artists each representing an animal of the zodiac, fighting for / hanging out with this lawyer-wannabe. They are all in love with him and literally want to "rock him senseless". It’s funny and very crude with more sex jokes than even my favourite Hollywood movie, Ace Ventura 2.

Sanae represents the horse and is normally the mild-mannered class president who harbours a crush on Koushi, the man. Unknown to everyone else, she’s also Umakamen (Horse Mask), a crime-fighting vigilante decked out in the weirdest SM suit. It’s a "power suit" apparently. She hates the costume and is permanently in a dilemma over whether to use it or not. Sanae’s seiyuu is Hirano Aya, better known as Suzumiya Haruhi and Pachira.

The figure really sucks. I didn’t have the motivation to take more than a few pictures. Even the background sucks. There are no horses in Singapore, except the rich men playgrounds and maybe the Zoo.

The Good

It makes you feel good because all your other figures are beautified.
It looks like glossy leather doesn’t it?
The stand looks stable. A few pegs.
The End.

The Bad
The price is awesomely expensive for such bullshit. 4800 yen can get you almost all the 1/8 figures, including luminaries such as Dark Saber, Meg, Jo, Rider etc.
The accessory, her spectacles, can’t fit on her face properly. And it’s really ugly.
There are a lot of poorly painted areas, accidents and seamlines. Look at her ass!
Her boobs look like burger buns. The scary thing is, the seam lines sit where the buns are supposed to split, for greater realistic bunism.
The outfit is so disgusting my eyes burn like they’ve been sprayed with sulphuric acid.
Her boobs look way too big.
Facewise, there’s the supposed sad and tortured expression but it’s a bit too flat and cheap-looking for my liking.

Avoid at all costs! Hell, pay money NOT to buy it!

Where are my double cheeseburgers? Is it true that McDonalds uses Horsemeat for their patties??

Is that uncleaned poop????

I probably placed the spectacles the wrong way around.

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