Kyoani is a Hot Babe while Kanon is a Balding Old Fart…

Ok that was a wind up. I’m not sure how many of you guys know the concept of a "wind up" (NOT action in baseball, shut down of company etc)? In American speak, that would be "troll".

My e-drama senses are tingling!! After the massive battle royale, or rather, Zerg swarm of Kanon fanboys slaughting Jaalin of Random Curiosity, and Kurogane’s subsequent surfing of the hate wave, I must come clean – I did my bit in helping the comments on RC grow by trolling. After all, a good bit of mental stimulation never hurts the fanboys.

I said, "Guess what? I totally agree. The reason why I don’t like Kyoani is because of this… wasted resources. Look at them when they did Fumoffu and TSR! It was far far better utilisation of their style." In other words, a totally subjective, biased and ambiguously unelaborated statement designed to induce polarised follow-up opinions.

As expected, there was friendly (or not, you can’t really tell from the INTERNET whether the commenters want to kill me with giant penile shotguns) banter in followup comments, finally concluding with the knockout blow delivered in the epic wonder word, "PWNED". I’ve always been hugely intrigued by the INTERNET’s unique linguistic culture. Why does an intentionally mispelled past tense of a word meant for ownership have the effect of the end buzzer on a debate? Or more accurately, a judge’s verdict on a case. Or worse, why does the implication of one’s relative newness to a situation or environment have such insulting tones on the INTERNET? But I digress. NOOB!!

My brother throws a hissy fit when I call him a n00b, but my mum isn’t really affected by it. "Mum, you have to turn left at the junction, n00b!!!" garners the response of "NU BU? NU BU?"

Anyway, Kanon is a huge waste of resources. Imagine the number of orphans and sick children the funds from Kyoani could’ve saved. Kanon not only made these lovable lads even sadder, it took away the chance for them to view the inspiringly-burning Full Metal Panic 3rd Season. Such is the demonic nature of Opportunity Costs. Hey, Kanon could’ve been animated by outsourced staff from 3rd World countries and still would’ve fulfilled the fanboy’s expectations and dreams, since all of them claim to be enamoured by the sheer storytelling, tearjerkiness and beauty of the Kanon Kids. Or even better, still frames of beautifully rendered CGs with the same voiceovers could’ve been used to cut the budget by 70% and still get the point across. Why waste the time and skill of the Kyoani staff rendering backgrounds and … snow all day long when they could’ve been better applied to hot action?

That is why for me, Kyoani will never barge into the list of my top three favourite studios. It’s like having a really smart son suddenly declare he wants to be a house husband and take care of his three wives. Sure, it’s quite sexy for some people but the endless sea of superior possibilities is very very annoying.

In spite of what I personally think, the truth is, Kyoto Animation is a really Hot and Sexy Babe dating a Balding Old Fart with a large pot belly while many other men look on unable to contain their envy and jealousy. Everyone wants Kyoani but why did she choose him? Maybe because under the wrinkles, blemishes, rolls of oscillating adipose tissue and shiny bare scalp lies a intellectual and sensitive mature man.

I love it when anime fans get into club wars just like football fans. Chelsea fans slating Arsenal fans and vice versa is not unlike GONZO fanboys pitting their words against the Kyoani lovers. If everyone agreed with each other, we’ll end up like… Aria. Screw that.

35 Responses to “Kyoani is a Hot Babe while Kanon is a Balding Old Fart…”

  • hey man! i hate the fact that you’re dissing Kanon, it’s really a good serires, probably you just hate shoujo or something, but you gotta give them props for doing a real good job since it looks hella better than it’s original version made in ’02. maybe you’re also pissed by the fact it received a lot of good marks and you hated the fact that you’re one of the many few left out who don’t like it…

  • i hate the fact that you’re dissing Kanon

  • I got my pot belly from drinking a lot of beer. now i have to do a lot of Cardio to remove my pot belly.~**

  • Very Good information …. thanx guy…

  • This kind of actually answered my personal issue, thank you!

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